Pen To Paper
by xlovestory
Summary: I'm going to give you an insight into my life. This journal has every secret and every feeling I've ever known I have. It's helped me realise things many times, and for that I am grateful. It's up to you whether you take this journey with me...
1. Prologue

**Pen To Paper.**

_The Prologue._

This all began when my old teacher, Mrs Bradshaw, gave me this journal. I'd left school, moving on to a new one as my mother transferred, and she felt I'd need this somehow. Her exact words were,

_'To let your emotions out, without using words. I'll help, trust me.'_

and I knew exactly what she was talking about. My ability to not explain my feelings. Yes, I was one of those annoying people who never feel anything more than 'fine', and never let anyone see what I really felt. I keep myself to myself, and my feelings even closer. It's just who I am.

But in honour of one of my favourite teachers, I decided to use it. To try to let it out after years of keeping it in. I promised her I'd do it.

And so I did.

This is my journey, through the ups and downs of moving to Albuquerque, joining my new school, meeting new people, and meeting the one person that would change my world completely. I'm giving you an insight into my life, and you have complete control over this little window.

This is my story.

I'm Gabriella Montez.

Readers; I'm about to put pen to paper.

**A new idea I am working with. It's just a little story, just something to keep my occupied, and until I can come up with a dramatic, unused and fantastic HSM fanfic plot, this will have to do.**

**I actually like this idea, and I got it from the book I'm reading right now, _'The Cloud Of Dust'_ by Charlie Boxer. If you haven't heard of it, I recommend. It's completely beautiful. I will never be able to write this anywhere near the standard he has, but I just want to see where this goes.**

**It'll be written in Gabriella's POV, since it's supposed to be her telling you everything and anything. It will be varied length chapters. I want it to look and feel like a real diary, something that any of us would write; I want everyone who reads this to be able to relate to it in some way. I have no doubt that some of my own thoughts and stories will enter into this.**

**Also, I hope to update it almost every day, just like a real diary. I really want this to get off the ground, and not sit around in my brain waiting for me to unleash it. So please give it a try.**

**If it wouldn't be too much to ask, a few reviews would be helpful. This story is for you: feel free to tell me what you want in it, anything you wanted me to add, and any plot lines. I have a vague idea but ideas are always welcome.**

**Thanks guys,**

**HSMisLurve.**


	2. 29th August

_29th August 2008_

_Albuquerque, New Mexico_

So I guess I'd better start this properly, you know, with the date etc. My name is Gabriella Montez, and today Diary, you are going to learn a little bit more about this fantabulous person aka. me.

First things first, I'm not that special. I'm not fantabulous in the slightest - just pretty normal. I have curly brown hair, big brown eyes, average body, and quite a nice smile. I'm happy some of the time, the rest of the time I'm not.

So that leaves you with Gabriella Montez; the average girl.

Who used to live in LA.

I loved LA, loved the liveliness of the city, and how I could sink into the shadows. I loved how nobody knew who I was and never questioned anything I did because they didn't notice I did it. I loved how I went to a school which held over 1000 pupils, and I never had a name to my face. I loved how I just blended in with everyone else; and I loved being with the other nobodies, just living life one day at a time with no-one watching me.

Now suddenly, I'm the new girl.

I moved to Albuquerque today. To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to it - it was our annual move, something that I'm used to. Again my mother promised me it would be the last time she transferred until I moved to college, but I doubt that. We move constantly; it's the only way I know to live.

So now I've ended up here, as I was telling you. We've moved into a nice, quite spacious house, painted in white with a balcony connected to my room. Yes, it sounds good so far, but I never knew how quickly news spread in this area. It seemed like we'd only been there a few minutes before we had people at our door welcoming us and asking to help. Okay, it was nice of them to offer, but I was so taken aback by how… noticed we were, I wasn't sure if they could be trusted.

Within an hour nearly all of the people situated in Albuquerque had visited us. I'd met one person whom I knew I'd be seeing at school; a quiet girl called Kelsi. That suited me just fine. She was quiet and kept to herself just like I did, and the fact that I wouldn't be completely alone on my first day pleased me.

But I can't help missing LA. I'd gotten used to the vibe that city gave off. LA is the exact opposite of where I am now. Completely different. Everyone likes a change once in a while, I suppose. But when you are constantly moving around you want to stick in one place for longer than other people do. That's why part of me wishes I was back there, in the safety of the big bustling city where no-one knew me. How, here, it seems like I'm a local celebrity - The New Girl Who Will Be Attending East High. I don't like it: being known.

Now there are no shadows to rush into.

There are no herds of humans to hide behind.

And I'm attending a school with a maximum of 300 pupils.

How will I ever survive in Albuquerque?

**A/N; And that's basically how this story will remain. That's the basic idea; Gabriella telling you through her eyes what she does and feels - like any diary that is written. This is the average length it'll be. But if you've written a diary before (I have) you'll know that some days you have lots to write and others you'll only write a single line. That's the sort of feel and approach I want to take with this; the feeling that this is real and it's something she might have written. Also, I'm not just going to be telling the story of HSM in this. Some of the events will be this same, but I'm taking my own twist.**

**Anyways, thanks for the reviews you gave me yesterday. Can I have some more?**


	3. 30th August

_30th August 2008_

_Still Albuquerque, New Mexico._

It's funny. When I woke up this morning, even before I'd opened my eyes I knew I wasn't at home. It didn't feel the same; the way it should. I even wished that I was back in LA, hoped for that Wizard of Oz moment that I'd be transported home. But like usual, it didn't work.

So I'm still stuck here.

The place where nothing happens.

And I'm bored out of my mind. Kelsi didn't call around again; something to do with piano practice, but that was okay because I had some stuff to do too. Like emailing my friends from the lousy connection they have in this place. The good thing was I did get sympathetic replies, making me wish even more that I was there with them.

Then I had my phone calls, to… no-one. Because I don't know anyone here! Gosh, this place is so depressing. I think I might actually die.

And the weird thing is, I'm looking forward to going into school. Yes, I'm still a little nervous about the welcome I'll receive, and yes, I am quite geek-ish and enjoy school, but I'm really desperate for something to do.

I just wish something would turn up…

Oh hell! That's the doorbell. Who the hell will it be this time? The freaky neighbour who seems to have the hots for my Mum, or the newspaper guy who kept looking at my chest.

I'd better get that, then.

This place just keeps getting better and better.

Until tomorrow…

**A/N; Before you rip my head off, I warned you about the varied length of chapters. I actually ahve to take a trip to the hospital now, so this is today's chapter.**

**Reviews are welcomed!**


	4. 31st August

_31st August._

_Yep, Albuquerque, New Mexico_

So, I'm ready.

I have my clothes laid out neatly on my chair at the other side of my new bedroom. I have my shoes neatly placed at the front door so when I'm in a rush tomorrow I can just slip them on. I've packed and re-packed my school bag several times, making sure everything is in it's place.

So why do I feel so unprepared?

It's always a little scary going to a new school, meeting all the new people. Some of which hopefully have the promise of being my friend.

I jut hope I'm not stared at, too much.

Please let tomorrow be okay.

If there is a God up there, I'm asking you…

Please.

PS. If you wondered who was at the door yesterday, it was again my estranged neighbour. Seriously, he can't keep away. My mother isn't even interested.

Freak.

**A/N; REVIEW!**


	5. 31st August, again

_31st August, once again._

_Albuquerque, New Mexico - unfortunately._

Me again. Who else?

I'm sitting here, in my bed, under the covers, trying to get to sleep. It seems like I can't. I've been trying to get my eyes to close for hours now, and sleep just won't come. It's one of the most frustrating things, and yet, I'm slightly happy about it. Because it gives me time to think.

Over the most part of today, I was dreading tomorrow. But I've come to the conclusion that whatever happens, I'm here and I'd just better like it. My mother says we won't be moving any time soon, but that is something I highly doubt. So to be honest, I'll only have to live here for a short time it seems - something I rejoice in.

Okay, I guess I'm looking into this a little too much. I've only been here, what, 2 days, and haven't met any of the people I'll be around, or been to any of the places I'll be spending my time. I've not tested the Albuquerque waters yet, so I can't judge. Even though I do. But I just can't help it. I miss my old life, and I don't like feeling I'm be pushed into a new life.

My old life was fine, thank you very much.

Today, once I'd kind of stopped worrying, I checked my email on that dodgy connection to the internet I have. It took about half an hour to sign in, but at least it worked. I found many emails from my friends back in LA, and before that I'd never really thought of how much I'd missed them. I'd been wallowing in self pity, and never really thought about how it might be affecting them.

It seems they miss me very much.

I almost cried over some of the emails they sent. They said the sweetest things; about how everyone was missing my company, and apparently school wasn't the same without me there. Yes, they are my friends so they are supposed to comfort me. But to tell you the truth, I don't think some people would even notice I'm gone.

I told you before I was a no-one, so the only people that could possibly miss me are the people in my group of friends. But they are the people who matter most. The people I love more than anything and anyone in the world. The one's back home.

Gosh, I need to leave this place. It isn't where I belong. Technically, I don't really have a home - because of all the travelling, but still. It felt like home. This just feels like another universe all together. I'm beginning to really regret coming here.

And tomorrow, I've got to get up at a God forsaken hour, and go to my new school. They'll probably hate me, and I'll have no friends. Except I'll have Kelsi, so it might be okay.

Tomorrow shall tell, I guess.

Wish me luck!

**A/N; I thought I'd give you two updates today, just because I'm nice like that. Please review, once again.**


	6. 1st September

_1st September_

_Albuquerque, New Mexico._

_The City of People Who Stare._

_..._

I have never been stared at so much in my entire life.

They couldn't take their eyes of my face.

It was un-nerving, and unneeded.

Make it stop, please.

...

**A/N; Please review. They mean the world, honestly.**


	7. 2nd September

_2nd September_

_Albuquerque, New Mexico._

_..._

It wasn't so bad today, actually. They seemed to have realised I'm an actual human; have accepted that I'm supposed to be on Earth, and that means they have nearly stopped staring at me. I really hated it, you know. I've never liked attention - it's something that has always haunted me. The thought of people looking at you constantly, it gives me shivers up my spine.

It's creepy. It's like they've got nothing else to look at. Surely I'm not that interesting. I mean, there's got to be something better to look at than me. But yet again, hardly anybody new ventures into this little town, so I guess I can see why they are doing this. I'm new meat, in a sense. Except, I'm possibly stale, and smell bad, because no-one dares come up to talk to me.

They just stare. They don't even bother to say 'hi'. It's the second day this has happened, although yesterday was worse. Yesterday my lovely registration teacher Ms Darbus let me stand at the front of the class and stutter out my name and where I'd come from. I heard the gasp of air as I said my old life was back in LA. Everyone, or nearly everyone's mouths went like fish. Except one person, Sharpay Evans.

Before I even stepped into the school yesterday, I knew who she was. Her name was mentioned at last five times while walking down the grounds to the front door. I turned around when I heard her name for the fifth time to see a tall girl walking confidently with her blonde locks flying behind her. It appears she loves pink; even her car is that colour. Before she'd even looked at me I knew we wouldn't be best friends. I was right.

It seems she is quite… outspoken, shall we say. I sat back down after introducing myself only to find her muttering under her breath about how 'dirty' people from LA were. I was later told, by my new friend Kelsi, that Sharpay had always wanted to live in LA, but daddy could only afford a few visits. Looks like she was jealous…

But other people seem to be nice to me. I'm sure I'd have many more friends if they'd bother to come up and talk to me. I know I should probably do the same to them to get friends, but that's never been my style. I don't mean to sound cocky, like I'm too good to make the introductions, but I'm a little shy. I never like to make a scene. Going up to someone while you're being stared at by the whole cafeteria to ask them if they'll be your friend, is a little embarrassing. I didn't need more reasons for them to find me a freak.

Which I am.

I knew it from the moment that I walked into the science classroom. I looked around, finding that even though the lesson hadn't even started everyone, except a nice girl called Taylor had fallen asleep. East High is all about the sports, and some guy called Troy. I haven't met him yet, but by the sounds of it he's a stuck up, arrogant sporty snob. Yuck.

Yeah, so I walked in, and took a seat beside Taylor because she was the only person I knew there. She smiled in her own friendly way, and then began to take the notes on the board which the teacher was writing up. It was equations, something I'm generally quite good at. At my other school I had won prizes for Science, something I was proud of. I'm a general all rounder at school, I guess. People in the school in LA found it obnoxious that I was smart, but I took that in my stride. It's the same at every school; I'm used to it.

While I was copying down the equations, it seemed like one was wrong. So I decided to work it out in my head quickly to check if it was correct. It wasn't, and apparently I'd said it in front of the whole class. To say I blushed, was an understatement. I was very red! The entire class was looking on at me, some with glares, others with confused yet amazed glances. I told the teacher the correct answer, to which she realised was right. I smiled at her, and she smiled back. If I had a good science teacher, I'd be fine.

But after that it seemed like the new girl was now the maths geek. I didn't mind; I'd been called worse. And I knew it would happen anyway, so it wasn't a surprise.

But the thing that got me most today and yesterday, apart from the amount of staring directed at me, was the fact that nothing seemed to go on. It felt empty, and I can't help wondering why.

I just hope something interesting happens soon.

Albuquerque is already boring.

...

**A/N; The last chapter was incredibly small, so I hope this is a better length for you. I did warn you that it'd be like this, with very different sizes of chapters, because that is what a diary feels like. Yep, so I wanted to give you a bigger chapter today, just to make you, hopefully, smile.**

**Thank you for all the amazing reviews you've given me. They do mean a lot. I realised I'm getting about 2-3 per chapter, and although that is great, I'd really like to get about 5 each chapter. So I've set us a goal. You give me 5 or more reviews, I give you a new chapter. So if one day I don't update, you'll know why, so then you'd have to change that! I know from other stories that some people don't like this, but all I have to say is that when you're writing and updating every day, and not getting a lot of feedback it can get frustrating. So if we can just try this for a while, that'd be awesome.**

**Thanks Guys! Bring on those five reviews!**


	8. 3rd September

_3rd September_

_The Getting Better Albuquerque, New Mexico._

…

Things are exactly full of life here, like they were at my old school. Back then everything was flowing like a non stop river, bursting at its banks. Here, in East High, there's the odd little bit of drama - usually connecting with Sharpay - but nothing really goes on.

Until today.

Some news was spread around today that seemed to excite everyone. People were jumping for joy, and the sports teams were in full swing. It didn't seem like big news to me of course, I haven't been here long enough, but the news even went on the loud speaker, so it must be great, even if I can't see it.

Apparently, the famous Troy Bolton is going to make an appearance soon. They said he was at a special basketball camp, but was going to be back at school in two weeks time. Once the news was spread all hell was let loose. I was knocked down in the corridor by a very excited basketball player with bushy hair. Thankfully, he said sorry.

But that's the funny bit.

It was the first time I'd felt like I was home. It felt familiar, and yes it sounds strange but its true. Being knocked down by a popular person, it felt like I was back in LA, in the shadows of my old school, only in the spotlight in the Science and Maths classrooms. It used to happen all the time back then. And it happened today. It gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Yes, I know it's strange.

I'm finally getting used to living here actually. It's getting to be quite nice. I decorated my room after school today, almost into a replica of the one I used to have, which added to the feeling of home again. I know moving here is supposed to be making a new life for me and my mother, but I don't want that. It's something I've tried to do every time I've moved; now I just want it to be like old times. Not that I hate the change. It's quite nice, in an odd way.

Albuquerque is making my thoughts turn into mush.

But that's okay.

I'm quite fond of mush.

...

**A/N; Sorry for not updating yesterday. I wasn't on the computer at all yesterday, due to the fact that I was visiting hospital in the afternoon, studying in the morning, and partying at an Alphabeat concert at night. It was a jam packed day - but I loved it. Again, so for not updating. I'm going to try and keep updating as much as I can.**

**Thank you so much to the lovely people who reviewed my last chapter. I feel bad for not updating when I got so many more reviews than I'd hoped for. It was truly awesome. It made my feel fuzzy inside.**

**Yep, so it's the same system for this chapter...**

**5 REVIEWS & YOU'LL GET THE NEXT CHAPPY!**

**Thanks guys.**


	9. 4th September

_4th September_

_Alybu (haha!), New Mexico._

_..._

If you could see me now, I'd have the most amazing smile on my face. And for absolutely no reason at all. I just woke up this morning and realised that Albuquerque is the place where I can finally begin living my life. They know nothing about me; I can, if I wish, become a new person. I don't necessarily want to do that - I'm alright as I am, thank you very much - but I do have the chance to change, if I want to.

So, I just woke up smiling. And haven't been able to take it off since, really. I got some weird looks in the corridors today, but that's not unusual so it didn't bother me. I'm just happy.

There's only been one dent in my happiness today. And that nearly ruined it all, but I figured I'd just let it pass.

But for you to get it, you'll have to know a little bit more about my past.

When I lived in LA, my best friend was called Anna. She was a sweetheart, one that never put herself first, and listened when you needed her to. She was truly the best friend you could ever find. I also had another friend. His name was Drew. We'd known each other since we were small, because of our mothers being friends in hospital. So it came to no surprise that through my childhood, wherever I lived they would come visit for a few weeks, and we'd be joined at the hip.

Until now.

Drew has just announced to me, over email, that he won't be seeing me ever again. Nice guy he was. He has informed me that he is 'in love' with Anna, and will be spending every holiday with her. Well, it just doesn't make any sense, because for one thing, Anna told me she doesn't like him. But apparently, she's been lying to me because they've been dating for months behind my back. I introduced them, and yet they can't be bothered to tell me they are together. That's just horrible in my opinion.

But whatever, I'm over it now. It upset me at first, but not anymore. Because if something goes wrong, and they both want to come back to me - that's isn't happening. They dropped me, I'll drop them.

The smile is slowly slipping off my face now.

Shame.

I liked it when I was happy.

Until tomorrow.

PS. I actually won't be talking to you, dear Diary, tomorrow, as I'm going away for a few days. But I'll be back from my 'bonding' trip (yuck!) with my mother on the 10th, so we'll talk then. Gabriella! What is the world coming to! You're talking to a notebook…

...

**A/N; Thanks for all those reviews. I really appreciate them. I'll be going back to school soon, and have exams in less than two weeks time, so updates may not be every day. I'll try my best though. Also, I put int he thing about the holiday, because some people are getting impatient and wanting Troy: this means I can get him in quicker. But it doesn't mean you have to wait six days for the next chapter. Tomorrow, or the next day, it should be up.**

**:)**

**5 REVIEWS! Pretty please. :D**


	10. 10th September

_10th September_

_Back in Albuquerque, New Mexico._

…

Weird thing is, I'm actually glad to be back. Don't get me wrong; Albuquerque definitely hasn't suddenly become the haven I long to be in. I still consider LA as my home, even thought I've not been there for over a week now. It's still strange to come into my new house, go into my new room, and feel like the walls belong to me. But I'm getting used to it, because nothing's gonna change that soon.

But if you'd just been on the camping trip I've just been on, you'd wanna get home too.

Why do parents always seem to think you need to 'bond' with them? It's stupid, especially when Mum's do it. I mean, you spent a whole nine months in her womb, and yet she still feels like she doesn't know you, and you don't know her. You couldn't get any closer to her! I suppose it's the fact that I'll be leaving soon that scares her. She'll cry, I just know she will. I'm a Senior now, that only leaves one more year until college, and I think that scares her. She probably feels she hasn't had enough time with me yet.

But she could have fixed that.

When I was little, I had a childminder every single day. She practically stayed with us. I felt like I knew her more than my mother. She was there when I woke up, there when I eat dinner, and there when I went to bed. She was around more than my mother: the successful owner of a top business settled mainly in New York. When she would be away, she'd be gone for days, sometimes even weeks, and I was still in nappies. It was hard sometimes, not knowing if she'd be home. I don't even think she heard my first word.

And then I grew up more, and little by little she saw what she was wasting. She began to move around a lot more, away from the business in New York, insisting that more time with me was vital. It was kind of nice, the way she wanted to care for me more than before. I got to know my mother, and my child minder, bless her, got left behind. She was lovely, but we had to part ways. She didn't want to go on the adventure with us; one which would turn out being us moving nearly every year to a new state. I personally think she made a very good decisions. I don't know if I'll ever feel at home in one place now.

She kept going with all these plans, each getting bigger and more extravagant as I grew. I'm now on the verge of seventeen, and she sprung that camping trip on us. A seventeen year old girl, and a tend don't mix. Well, not for me. I'd rather have my bed. I actually considered taking the fold up bed we have with me, and shoving it into the tent at night, but the more I thought about it the less it would work - my tent was teeny.

We did several bonding activities, as it were. They included trying to find the camp site, trying to find the tents in the boot while arguing, and then trying to find a shop in the middle of no-where. Extreme fun, I'm sure you'll agree.

It wasn't the best time of my life, and I don't think it turned out to be the nice bonding holiday my mother had wanted either. But the point was, as I kept telling her, that we spent time together. And even though I love to complain about it, spending time with her was nice. Lovely.

We got home just about two hours ago, and I've already unpacked and got ready for school tomorrow. Then I checked my email, having several from Anna, apologising over and over again about not telling me. I want to forgive her, but it hurt, what she did. I never thought she'd do something that big behind my back. We were the sort of friends who never had a secret between them. I guess I judged her really wrong. I don't know what will happen between us, but I didn't reply. I had nothing to say.

But moving that firmly to the back of my mind, I realise that a very big event will be happening tomorrow at school. The whole student body will be walking on air, jumping all over the place, and all because of one boy.

Troy Bolton.

Yep, he arrives back from that basketball camp thing he went to. I have heard rumours that he'd in my registration class, but I'm not sure. I don't really know what to take from the rumours; whether they will be true, I'll find out tomorrow. I still stick to what I feel though - he'll probably be arrogant, stuck up, and horrible to everyone who isn't in his gang. He sounds that sort of person, from what I've heard. But I've been wrong before, haven't I…

I guess tomorrow will tell me.

But one thing's for certain.

I'm not going to get involved with Troy Bolton.

…

**A/N; Another chapter, one that had just set this story up for Troy Bolton to arrive. Everyone was anxious to meet him, so you'll all find out about him tomorrow. Quick question - do you want a moody, broody but cheeky, sexy Troy? Or a sweet Troy? I'm not sure which I want, yet. If you can tell me in a review, that would be great. I might just take on your ideas!**

**Anyway, for another day, that's you. The next few weeks, it might be a little difficult to update, because I've got exams galore soon, just the first set of three sets I have to sit. Yuck! But I'll try my best for you.**

**Please give me some reviews!**


	11. 11th September

_11th September_

_Albuquerque, **Blue Eyed** Mexico._

…

If I sit back on the bed that I'm lying on right now, and let everything go - worries and all - and close my eyes, all I can see is blue. The kind of blue that locks you into the position you were in; that makes you stare; that makes you wish you were closer. And when they belong to a gorgeous face, it seems impossible to want to fight the urge - to go up and run your hands over his face and defined jaw, pulling him closer to you, and looking right into those fiery blue pools.

Those eyes, belong to Troy Bolton.

He arrived today, and I seemed to know about it even before the bus door had opened, and I stepped onto the school grounds. There was no-one around the edges of the area, just all of them piled into one spot in the middle of a grassy patch. People were silent, their eyes glued to the middle of the circle. As I and a few more people from school stepped off the bus, there was already people running up to the buss doors to drag people in the large group's direction. Mutters of 'he's here' and 'Troy's back' were heard, and as soon as I heard this news, I rolled my eyes. He must be big news, to get this much of a reaction from the minute he arrives.

But Gabriella Montez, as I've said before, doesn't do 'big news'. I tend to stay away from those sort of things. They usually always lead a think trail to trouble, and since I was new to this small city, and school, I didn't need the extra attention. So I took off in the direction of the school doors, leaving behind blue eyed boy and his followers.

I tried to avoid him all day, but apparently he was having none of that. It appeared that he would be in my registration class; a fact that I' hoped to have been able to ignore, but as soon as he stepped into the classroom as voice level heightened drastically, making it heard to move my eyes from the group.

I hadn't seen him at that point. But apparently he'd seen me. I had been looking down at my notebook, casually doodling away, pretending to be practising for Art, which I had at some point today. The noise almost ground to a halt, and although I could hear the decrease of noise, I didn't dare look up. If I had I think I would have seen eyes all over me - I could feel their stares - and that, no doubt that would make me blush.

He probably noticed I didn't want anything to do with his gang.

He probably saw I was trying to avoid them at all costs.

And he probably saw this as an opportunity to 'test' the new girl.

I remember vaguely what he said, but unfortunately it was quite hard to concentrate. Throughout the conversation he used the power he knew his eyes had. The power to capture, and never let go. I was almost mesmerised; but I could handle it. For he didn't expect what was coming.

This was how the conversation went,

"So, you're the new girl. I've heard quite a lot about you." He seemed to stalk closer to the table which I, the prey, was sitting at. I didn't like that he was coming into my personal space without my permission.

I remember becoming rigid. "Yes. That's nice." I sort of mumbled, and looked back down at my book, hoping he'd give up. From the other side of the room, opposite from where all the others were standing watching, was Kelsi. I saw the sympathetic look she gave me, throwing her back a 'help me!' look. She shrugged. Things like this must happen to everyone new who comes here.

I presume he nodded, or something like that. I still had my head buried in my notebook. "Oh yes. It's very nice…"

"Gabriella." I filled in my name for him. I couldn't help but look back at those shocking orbs he presented me. I was nearly hypnotised. And for a moment I thought he was a nice guy.

Wrong.

"Gabriella. Nice name. But, do you know what would be even nicer?" He stalked closer, and I tried to move backwards, weary.

I shook my head, my indignant steak finally coming through. If there was ever going to be a confrontation, I could feel it in my bones before it even started. It was an excellent technique, or gift I had mastered. Right then, the blood was pumping fast. I remember the feeling as I sit here, clearly.

I looked back at him, rigid, but I stood my ground. "What would that be, Troy?"

He looked momentarily taken aback, but quickly covered up his shock. I felt like smirking, but things were going too fast in this conversation - which was still being watched, even by Ms Darbus - to think about such things.

His shoulders rubbed mine, and he electrocuted me slightly. "If you,' he stroked the sensitive skin beside my eyes and ear, 'and me,' he continued while lowering his hand to stroke my cheek, 'got together sometime."

He finished his process, and then cupped my cheek in his hand, leaning forward with his gaze penetrating into me. I remember thinking, _'Is this supposed to startle me? To make me agree?'_ At that point I know what I'd thought was right all along, and had to put an end to this.

I reached up, dragging my fingers slowly, tauntingly up his arm, feeling the strong veins almost shiver under my touch. I watch his eyes, and the flash of lust, or comprehension in his aqua eyes. My hands continued their journey, until they had reach his hand, which was now tingly. I grasped it lightly, taking it away from my face, and giving it back to his arm, swinging beside his hip.

Then I remember smiling in a smug way. Right on cue, as if I was meant to play this part, the bell rang. I noticed that no-one was motioning to leave, too engrossed in my 'play' to imagine leaving. From the corner of my eye, Kelsi was smirking in approval. I lifted my bag onto my shoulder, watching the confusion write itself on his facial features.

And then I leant into his ear.

"No chance."

Then I left the room. I've got to tell you, Diary (because I do think of you as a real person!) that I've never felt so proud of myself than today, when I crushed Troy Bolton in front of his crew. That will b something I remember for a long time.

And I don't even regret it. How could I? It was clear from the very first step he took that he thought he'd won me already. No way. I'm not a prize; something to be owned. He can forget ever being with me, in any way.

I will not be a quick shag for Troy Bolton, because here he I known to have done that to **too** many cheerleaders. I lost count after the first few Kelsi had told me. But I will not be anything like them. I think he now thinks of me as a puzzle. Or will tomorrow…

For the rest of the day, it seemed he was in a mood with me.

My estimations of Albuquerque are getting better and better!

**A/N; My longest chapter so far, people! Are you proud? Lol. I really enjoyed writing this, and strangely enough it came out better than I imagined. Yay!**

**Okay, it might take my longer to update the next chapter, but just add me to alerts to make sure you don't miss the next bit.**

**Reviews are very, very, very welcome.**

**:)**


	12. 12th September

_12th September_

_Albuquerque, New Mexico._

…

Someone smiled at me in the corridor today. Someone said hi to me when they passed as I put things back in my locker. Someone stopped and picked up my pencil when I dropped it accidentally. And someone, other than my new best friends Kelsi and Taylor, talked to me.

It seems that if you humiliate Troy Bolton, you get new friends.

People want to talk to you, want to find out exactly what I said to him and find out if the rumours circulating around school are true. Yep, I've got rumours going around about me and Troy Bolton. Everyone wants a little piece of the girl who told Troy off, and I don't like it. I'm finally noticed, in completely the wrong way. I've never wanted to be noticed, never in my life. I was fine being the girl no-one saw, the one that hid behind herself.

So why now of all times do I have to be centre of attention?

And the thing that gets me the most is that they don't wan to know me; they want a piece of gossip. I'm all for making new friends, but the people who want me aren't friend material. They just want something to spread, which would end up biting right back at me in the future.

The funny thing is, they are acting like this has never happened before. Surely someone must have stood up to him before. He'd begging for trouble acting like that, and surely he knows that too. He's too cocky and arrogant for his own good, and he has to realise that soon.

The good news was that he avoided me for the rest of the day yesterday. I seemed to have scared him off, at least for a little while - something that I'm a bit proud of. So he was off my back, and today I never really saw him. He must have been avoiding me. Even Kelsi, my musical mate mentioned the reluctance Troy seemed to hold as he left the classroom in order to go to History - a subject we share. But I'm really not bothered. In fact I'd rather he stayed away from me for good.

If there's one person I really don't need, it's Troy Bolton.

I managed to get home today without seeing anyone or having anyone come up to me. Sometimes I think they want my autograph. In my last entry I said that Albuquerque just kept getting better. And I was right. I'm learning to really like Albuquerque.

I'm learning that the multi-coloured trees are beautiful. I'm learning that the rain which falls nearly every day is gorgeous. I'm learning that my next door neighbour isn't actually my mothers stalker, but actually just a guy that used to know her and wondered if she was the person he thought she was. And I'm finally realising that the people who live here are exactly that same as the people in LA. They are no different, they all have human traits.

And people like me. Even if it was for the wrong reasons.

I repeat, I don't want to be popular; not in the slightest. But getting noticed every once and a while is quite comforting in a sense. I must admit that back in my old school I felt quite lonely. No-one except my friends spoke to me. But here, everyone, nearly everyone, is welcoming.

It's nice; I feel I belong.

Something I've never really felt in a place before, except vaguely for LA. But Albuquerque is so different to LA, and I'm beginning to like my new city better.

The one thing that would top it off, would be if Troy Bolton stayed out of my way. But I know he won't let this go that easily. Rumours are rumours, and the rumours state that Troy Bolton gets what he wants.

Does he want me?

I hope not.

Because he isn't getting me, that's for sure.

...

A/N; Happy Upload Day! Another chapter - keep reviewing!


	13. 13th September

_13th September_

_Albuquerque, New **Torturous** Mexico._

…

I am writing this when I'm not in a very good mood, so don't expect anything special, Diary. If I recall from my entry yesterday I said that Troy Bolton doesn't stop. I was perfectly correct - but I wish I was wrong.

It seemed that today his goal was to annoy the hell out of me. It all started in registration when he deliberately came to sit beside me before Kelsi got to the table next to me. I ignored him - something I'll remember not to do in future when having him next to me - and then he began to inch closer and closer. I do not like people in my personal space. Get to close, you get hit.

Which is what he did.

And he got a slap, right smack bang on the right cheek.

I almost laughed at the look of utter horror that passed over him - it was too comical. Then, thank heavens, the bell rang and I hurried out of the classroom.

I, stupidly, thought that he'd give up after that. He'd been walking around all day with a lovely red, forming bruise on his cheek - if he had any sense he'd stay away. But now I have reason to doubt his sanity, because at lunch time he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the lunch cue. Note: I don't get dragged anywhere. I kicked him and screamed, Troy enjoying showing the whole school who is boss. I dumped me at his table, making sure I didn't move, and sat down beside me, shoving a sandwich in front of me.

I really hated him at this point. Anger boiled through my veins, I tell you no lie. So, I did the only thing I could think of, which would let me escape. Without a second thought, I took his bowl of soup and poured it over his lap. The whole student body, who were conveniently watching this small display, were trying not to laugh. But I laughed loudly.

Then I leant down to his ear and whispered, 'Stay. Away. There's more where that come from."

I walked away, with a new quickness in my step. I'm surprised that I didn't get in trouble for that. Surely he told someone… Possibly not. But whatever. I was happy; he wasn't. Mission accomplished.

I just hope he obeys my demand.

Because if there's one person I hate, no matter how much revenge I get.

It's Troy Bolton.

…

**A/N; Another upload for you. Short and snappy. The next one will hopefully be longer. I'm still trying to figure out where I want this to go. Also, someone asked me to write longer chapters. I will try, but I think the varied length adds to the theme of it being a diary. I'll see what I can do though...**

**Please review!**


	14. 14th September

**14th September**

**Albuquerque, _Quietly Tearful_ Mexico.**

…

I always thought that writing letters had gone out of fashion. Now it was all emails and texts, and that suited me fine. A nice little email once in a while sounded good to me. But then, unexpectedly, I found myself holding a letter written to me, and my views were then completely changed.

Let me explain. Today I realised how much something given to you be someone else can mean to you. It can make you so happy you want to jump with joy, but it can also make you feel so alone, lost and helpless. Today, my letter made me feel nothing.

Emptiness, was all that filled me.

And not the best kind.

When I woke up today, I felt quite good. I've never really been a morning person, but by my standards my wake up was pretty wonderful. There had been a small jump in my step as I went downstairs this morning, eager to fill my hungry stomach. And then, out of nowhere appeared a small but filled envelope, lying lifeless on the doormat. On the front of the (crisp but slightly scuffed at the edges) envelope has been my name, scribbled into the paper so hard that it left indents. I remember feeling my heartbeat quicken, and my worries rise to the surface. For I knew exactly whom that writing had come from.

Up until that moment I'd never really let myself think about the situation between myself, Drew and Anna. I'd never really let myself feel anything towards the situation because I knew at once that when I felt something it would break down the walls I have built up to suffer something like this. The closeness I once felt with them both had almost gone, or at least been pushed to the back of my mind. But now it was out of my control. This morning the feelings I had tried to suppress for the situation had risen, all because of the envelope sitting on the floor, still unopened.

I knew I was a terrible coward. It was only a letter. But this letter could hold anything it wished; facts and announcements that could make or break me. The more I looked and stared, the more the object became real, and quickly before I could think, I took the envelope into my hands, now shaking.

I didn't need to read the name at the bottom, for I would recognise that writing from anywhere. Large block capitals.

The letter was from Drew.

My mother, as usual had left for work early, leaving the house to me. It put the worry of her finding me opening it to the back of my mind, but without anyone home the loneliness I already felt heightened. It was compressing me; my shoulders tilted and tried to squash themselves into my body. Sighing, I straightened up and slotted myself onto a kitchen stool, letting the envelope drop onto the counter.

For a few minutes I just sat there, looking. It seemed to grow a life of its own, it almost growled at me, begging me to open the contents, but making me wary too. But like anyone else, the small amount of curiosity I felt towards the letter took over, and soon the envelope was off, leaving me with two bit of blue writing paper, Drew's hard and frightening scroll decorating the pages.

There are a few lines which I will repeat for you, Diary. It is more for myself rather than you, as you cannot give opinions and advice on what they mean. But it should help me, I hope, to organise my thoughts rather than have them roll about my brains as they do now.

_"For any pain I have caused you, I am dreadfully sorry."_

That was one of the first things he mentioned. It made me angry, for I knew exactly what he had wanted from that sentence. Drew was never the type of guy to wait around for people to forgive him - he wanted forgiveness straight away. He wanted me, from just those words, to throw away every wrong thought that had entered my head about him, and replace them with a clean sheet; one that he could just as easily mess up again. I can't, and couldn't do it. I am not one to hold grudges, but I remember clearly. I cannot blank out all the memories and the times when he threw our friendship away. I just can't.

_"LA is so boring now, without you to liven it up."_

I can't help thinking that he is blaming me for moving here. It wasn't my choice, or my fault. And to be honest right now I'm thanking the heavens that I moved. If I'd found out about him and Anna while still in distance of them, I might have reacted much worse. The feelings of hate I feel towards them now would definitely not have been suppressed.

And then finally. _"Anna has been missing you too. I agree. Life without you, and I don't feel complete."_

This statement stuck with me the whole day. It has so many meanings, so many layers. I cannot quite figure it out, even thought I have tried over and over again. So I have come up with a plan on this, if I was meant to know the meaning I will in the future. I just want to put the memory of this letter away, now.

He signed his name at the bottom, and then the paper was blank. I remember the lines going through and through my head, trying to get to the bottom of it all - needless to say, I didn't get very far. But my heart ached after reading. I felt completely numb all else, but my heart and the memories of everything we had done together burned. The friendship we had bonded together had fallen apart, and I couldn't feel anything because of it.

I felt lifeless.

I couldn't even bring myself to smile.

So I left the house, leaving the memories and letters behind and headed for East High, hoping that Troy Bolton would leave me alone, because today I just couldn't handle it.

I left without eating; I wasn't hungry anyway.

Sadly, one I entered school all hopes of getting a day of peace were flattened. As if they were waiting for me, I stepped into school only to find them almost in my face. I scowled, keeping my head down and travelled to my locker, with their footsteps echoing eerily behind.

They threw many questions in my direction, but for once Troy Bolton said nothing, something that I picked up on very quickly. All he did was stare at me, his eyes boring holes into my back and face. It was unnerving, reminding me of my first day here, and the stares I got. So I continued to look away. I didn't want to argue. I still felt numb.

Walking into registration, I stupidly thought that I might get some peace in here of all places. I was quite wrong in fact. The whole class was in a riot, but it quickly quietened down as Troy Bolton arrived. Sharpay, the popular girl who 'ruled the school' along with Troy Bolton sidled up to him as I watched on from the corner of my eye. It was strange how he completely ignored her, and faced me instead.

I looked up to meet his stare. His never faltered. It was like he was looking into my soul, learning my secrets and finding out why I was so quiet. I didn't like it and felt myself curl up again tightly, just as I had with the letter. But I kept his gaze, the game of stare we were playing was keeping my mind off of other things.

Unfortunately, by now, Sharpay had realised who he was staring at.

I remember everything in the conversation.

"Why are you staring at Montez?" Sharpay had demanded, I could see the evil in her voice.

Troy had not responded, ignoring her completely, and kept his eyes trained on me, telling me not to move. I didn't move my body, but I wavered from his gaze, lowering my eyes as to not get caught staring back by Sharpay.

Too late.

"Montez! Why are you staring at Troy?"

I remember trying to think up a reason really quickly, but in my current state of mind I cam up with nothing. I just stuttered, and watched as the entire class - minus Troy - began to laugh. I've never like people laughing at me. It gave me nervous feelings in my stomach and my heart began to sink. That was why I tended not to do things that would lead to people knowing me in such ways. Stupid me.

Sharpay had seductively ran her hand up Troy's arm, and he had flinched. She had grabbed his attention now, and she wasn't going to let it go.

"What were you staring at Montez?" She repeated, dreadfully curious for gossip.

Troy looked back at me, and then said without a smirk this time. "Because I want her."

I was stunned, the blush appearing in my cheeks, even though I was looking nowhere near where the confrontation between Sharpay and Troy was going on. I couldn't properly register what was happening; there had been to much gone on this morning.

I then I heard absolutely every horrible words that came from Sharpay's mouth. "You want Gabriella Montez? Why that filthy little thing? I mean look at her; she'd nothing special, totally plain. I'd actually go on to say that she was… what's the word… disgusting. You know, has she ever taken a hair brush through those frizzy locks? Or ever seen makeup? Take a look at those spots! Yuck! And to top that all off, she's a geek. An unbeautiful geek!"

Once she had finished I had no energy left. I felt like I had been drained, and it felt terrible. But I fought against my hurt and anger, willing myself to get out of my seat and out of that classroom. Somehow I ran. I kept going until I reached the Science classrooms, currently empty.

And only then, as I slid down the wall and my legs gave way, did I allow myself to cry.

...

**A/N; Another update for you. This was sad to write, but at the same time I enjoyed letting you see a little more of the Gabriella I am writing. I hope the emotions came across well.**

**Anyways, this is the longest chapter I've written for this story. I got some reviews saying please make the next chapter longer, so I did. I hope you guys are happy.**

**Please REVIEW!**


	15. 19th September

_19th September_

_Albuquerque, New Mexico._

…

It still hurts.

My heart continues to beat, but with every pump of blood, I ache.

My tears may have faded, but the pain still remains.

The pain of losing friends; of hurtful words; of new, strange feelings for a person whom thinks he owns the world.

Such strange goings on, but they do nothing to distract me from the pain.

It still goes on.

And for once, I have nothing more to say.

…

**A/N; Yep, Short, but it was just something to fill and hint about what's coming next. It's my birthday coming up so I won't be updating until after. Until then, you'll just have to figure out what happens. Things are about to heat up. :)**

**Please Review!**


	16. 21st September

_21st September_

_Albuquerque, New Mexico._

…

I didn't have my confidence back; Sharpay seemed to have taken that right from me. But I'd pretended to be sick too many times after that day, so I felt I had to go in and face my demons. My steps as they got closer to the school, I noticed, were much slower than normal. I felt alone, deeply alone. And even thought there were many people around me. Some staring in my direction, I felt if it was just me in this world, walking in the direction that lead me to my fate. Whatever that may be.

Sharpay's words still hurt when I thought of them. As I've already mentioned, I was really I the shadows at all my other schools, so coming to East High was a very different experience for me. Because I'd never really been known at other schools, people didn't make opinions of me, or at least I never heard of them. So to have someone shout hurtful words about me, right in front of me, was something incredibly new; something I don't want to revisit anytime soon.

I finally reached the doors, opening them and stepping inside. I remember my arms wrapping around my stomach under the stares of everyone around me. I've always hated being stared at. That's one of the reasons I begged my mother to stop ballet dancing classes. But that's yet another uninteresting story.

When I reached my locker, fiddled with the knobs and the door swung open, I felt a strange sort of relief go over me. It enveloped me, and I suddenly wished I was small enough to sit into my locker and watch from the slits in the door, onto the outside world.

But it didn't stay that way, unfortunately. I felt someone's eyes on my back, and I didn't have to look to see who it was; I could feel their gaze from miles away.

Gathering my books, I tried as fast as I could to get to my registration class, but his legs were much stronger and faster than mine. I was cornered by him, even though he had no arms around me.

The only word he said was, "Hello."

And his eyes said the rest.

They lead me back to the day I had been hurt by Sharpay's evil words. I struggled under his gaze, fighting the undeniable power he had. They lead me back to every word she had said. Every step I had taken as I had run away. Every following step he had taken, and the words he had said to me once I had fallen to the floor.

Because, Diary, there is something I have yet to mention. Something that my mind is still pondering over, and the words he said to me that time still circle my brain. It was one of the most confusing meetings I have had with him. And it goes something like this…

I remember falling to the ground, my back against the stone cold wall, with tears falling rapidly from my eyes. The next thing I here is footsteps thudding along the corridor in my direction, and I didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out who they belonged to. Once he had seen me, he must have taken pity, and the next thing I know is that he is sitting next to me, his hand on my hand which was supporting me on the floor.

I remember snatching my hand away, and hearing him sigh sadly. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

I looked at him then, and saw the pain written in those damn blue eyes. It was obvious he felt responsible for what I had just gone through, and being the person I am, I took pity. I patted his hand, the spark I felt as our hands touched again was something I tried to ignore. "You Don't have to be sorry. It's nothing to do with you. Just the hatred she feels for me - something I don't understand."

"I do." He muttered, and I took my hand away, almost feeling betrayed.

I looked at him, slightly confused. This was the most sincere I've ever seen him. "What have I done?"

He sighed, playing with his hands and turning the class ring he owned on his finger. "You've taken me." I shook my head at him, knowing he was going back to his cocky ways. He seemed not to think so. "Sorry. You misunderstand. Everything I did the first time I met you, was all an act. I do it for everyone. I don't think I've ever acted like myself. You… stunned me, by not reacting."

I laughed sarcastically. "Is that so."

"It is,' He looked at me, his eyes transferring the point the was trying desperately to make. 'You see, no-one has ever shot comments back at me. I must admit, I didn't know what it felt like. I was confused by you, but curious. No girl has ever done that before; every girl wants me for some reason I cannot understand.' I didn't want to believe his words, but the way he was opening up to me like this, it made me think otherwise. He looked at me. 'I know the words I said to you seem wrong. But the more I've watched you, the more I am intrigued. You've caught me. Something that Sharpay - no matter how hard she tries - has never done."

I was shocked as he ended. Was I supposed to believe this? Because for some strange reason, I did. Was it all a trap? All these questions had gone around in my brain, trying to connect the dots.

He turned more fully to me. "I realise that you must be shocked by what I've just said. I've never really opened up and told someone what I really felt before, so maybe I was too forward. But I just feel, that if you let me… I could break down the walls you have."

I leaned away from him, scared at how he could read me.

"I don't have walls."

He looked at me. "Yes you do. You just can't admit it."

My head fell back against the walls, tired with everything it was supposed to handle. "Look,' I said to him, my eyes closed. 'I'm sorry if I'm about to sound really harsh here, but I've had enough today. Not only have I had Sharpay's words to deal with, but now I have yours too. It's too much right now. I don't know what to believe, and by the way you've acted before, it just makes it more unbelievable. I really need time to… think things through. So I'd appreciate it if you left me alone."

When I'd opened my eyes again, he had left, and I just saw his back round the corridor corner.

So he was obviously back again today, to ask me if I've had enough time. I'd taken time off school, pretending to be ill, just to figure things out and get through the pain which I was still healing from. So many things had happened that day, and I was still just as confused.

"I haven't had enough time, Troy." I said to him today.

He nodded, taking my books from my arms and carrying them for me. I wanted to take them back, as it was such a friendly gesture - anyone could see. But he put them to his other side, so I just sighed. It seemed such a nice thing to do. What was he up to? I remember thinking.

I got my answer.

"I know; it'll probably take a long time. I just wondered if, for the mean time, we could be… friends?"

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you want from me, Troy?"

"Your friendship, for just now."

I wasn't sure what I wanted, but it was clear he wouldn't let this go. He might not e acting cocky and stuck up right now, but I knew he still had his I'll-get-what-I-want streak. So I just nodded.

I now I sit here, wondering what will come tomorrow.

Or the next day.

Or the next day.

Only time will tell, I guess.

**A/N; A bigger development in their friendship there. I hope I explained what happened okay. Things are going to start up in the next few chapters, so keep looking out for updates. I'm trying to update as much as I can. Thanks for all the reviews, they are fantastic. I'd really like some more, though. ;D**

**REVIEW!**


	17. 22nd September

22nd September,

Albuquerque, New Friendship Mexico.

…

Things haven't changed much since yesterday. Part of me wants to think that he is sincere, that everything we wants from me is true. But unfortunately I just can't drop the past. I keep thinking that us leading into friendship is just another way for him to get to me; to get the shag he wants.

That's the one thing I don't want.

I'm not even sure if I can trust him.

So there are no developments in that area yet.

I'll keep you updated.

…

A/N; Very short, yes, but I'm in pain right now because I've had surgery on my mouth and I can't get myself to write anything more. Hopefully, as the pain decreases, my writing will get better.

If you could review, that'd be great!


	18. 23rd September

_23rd September_

_Albuquerque, Upgraded New Mexico._

…

Things have changed, and I'm keeping you updated; keeping my promise I gave you, Diary, all those hours ago. Troy is my friend, and even thought it seems and looks weird to everyone else, I'm slowly settling into my new role of one of Mr Bolton's friends. It's strange. His old friends are almost nowhere to be seen, nowadays. He hangs out with them sometimes, but they no longer bother me. He must have said something.

Today, was the day of change.

Before, after we had become friends, everything had almost stayed and remained the same. Nothing drastic happened. I went to school, he went to school, we were civilised with each other. The only thing that was different was that we wouldn't stare and glare at each other; wouldn't walk on opposite sides of the halls to avoid each other (that was mainly just me, though); and he sort of took on carrying my books when I had too many.

It was… nice, I guess. Sure, Kelsi was nice enough, but she was quiet. Something I used to like in a friend, but I was coming round to Troy's outspoken attitude, finding it in a strange way, endearing. I wasn't going to completely change, you know. I'll state that now. I won't change, because I don't change for anyone.

That's final.

I won't budge.

But, back to today's events. I seem to have got… upgraded, today. It was just me and Troy. No-one else. I guess you could say that Troy wants me to be his… best friend? It's weird. But this is vaguely what went on.

I was standing in the lunch cue as normal, deflecting all the points and stares that were the usual now, since I had become Troy's friend. Most of the school had accepted it as normal now; a few glares from Troy had settled that. However, Sharpay still hated me, possibly even more than I thought possible. It seems there is no way to please Ms Evans.

I went to grab my lunch tray after paying, and felt someone behind me. I knew who it was. Troy wears a distinct cologne - a beautiful smell - and it was lingering all around me, like he was himself.

"What for lunch today, Montez?"

I smiled as I turned around, his bright blue eyes I'd learnt not to hate staring right into mine. "Macaroni Cheese, it seems."

He held up his tray for inspection. Then he grinned. "Correct. Ten points to the lady in green." He pointed with one of his fingers holding the tray up, to my shirt - green - and smiled. I laughed, then followed him into the main area with all the table.

Now, this is the pivotal moment. Usually, we'll stand a talk for a few minutes, then I'll go to my table, and he'll go to his. Our parting of ways, until he greets me in the corridor for next class. But today, he grasped my hand tightly. I remember gasping, not used to this form of contact. I knew somewhere insdie my mind that this was what Troy wanted, always.

Then I heard him speak, "Lets sit over there."

He pointed ocne more to one of the tables away from the centre, in the outskirts of the table area, unused - the one that no-one ever sat at. I don't know what it was about that table. It just wasn't where anyone sat. So I was even more confused when we went in the direction, ignoring the gasps and looks from other students.

Now, that may not seem strange and 'upgrading' to you. But I realised right then and there that we were alone. Together. None of his friends were here. And I knew that this was a new stage as soon as we had finished over conversation, and we getting ready to go to class, when he said - "I like sitting here, with you. Let's sit here every day."

So, I'm now upgraded.

Our friendship as been upgraded.

I'm alright with it, I guess.

He's more than happy.

And the whole student body hates me.

Remind me why I agreed to being his friend?

**A/N; A little longer than the last one. I wanted to get the fact across that their relationship is progressing, and it is getting harder for Gabriella to relent against him. Next chapter up soon.**

**REVIEW AWAY!**


	19. 27th September

_27 September 2008_

_As Always, Albuquerque, New Mexico_

…

I've taken to carrying this book around with me, at all times. It's useful, at some points in the day, to write down what I'm feeling; I'm often so confused.

When I lived in LA, everything seemed to simple and easy. But I think I've worked out why that was, and how now in Albuquerque, things are more difficult. In LA, everything went from one place to the other, my choices made for me. I had no freedom, and I was living in my own bubble; my childish world. I hadn't grown up properly, and the more I think about it, no-one had. We were all the same. And then I enter here, and everything is so different before, so new. I was uneasy, but now I like it. I have options, I have my freedom, and I'm growing up.

I'm growing into myself; a being I didn't really know until now. The person I was before, isn't who I have become. And it's all because of moving here - something that I originally was opposed to. Sometimes, you just can't know the effects of something until you try.

So I'm not so closed now. I'm open to new ideas, and new people - not like I was before.

Troy, is definitely new, and definitely becoming more important to me. I'm not sure about him now. I think I've come to the conclusion that he wasn't just wanting me for my body, he may want me for myself. He's been trying to get to know me more. Prying, isn't something I'm for. But when Troy is interested, I seem to give him the answers without a second thought. He has that effect on me; he makes me calm, relaxed.

Today was the first day he had walked me home. We stopped off at the park, interrupting some of the conversation we were going through. It was nice, in a weird way, to have someone to talk to, who wants to talk to you back, and not just for the sake of it. We've talked about many things, from old life, to new life. However, today, he wanted to delve deeper.

Into my past.

I wasn't sure how to react. We were sitting on swings, my legs flapping around on the seat. The first thing he asked me was, 'Why are you so afraid?'. That one struck me. I wasn't afraid, just cautious. I took it as if he was asking why I was scared of meeting new people. I knew that I hadn't been the most approachable I could have been when I arrived.

I remember looking into his eyes. "Because I wasn't sure how I would be taken. Would they like me? Would they hate me? It was hard for me. It is every time I move."

We trawled through numerous other questions, each with me answering in guarded ways. It wasn't that I wouldn't give him the truth - I'd give him as close to the truth as possible. It was more the fact that my trust was hard to gain, and my trust for him was still in the raw stages.

He last questions, caught me. It held meanings, memories that he didn't know about. It held so much inside, but on the outside it was simple. He thought it was simple. "Why did you not like me, in the beginning?"

I answered simply. "Because I know that I'll get hurt. I do every time. It isn't as simple as it sounds. I've been through pain. Earning my trust, devotion, it takes more than what you said to me."

And that was the only really true thing I said to him that day.

Because I have been hurt.

And I'm still hurting from what they did.

They should have told me.

Maybe I should forgive them.

But they won't get my trust back.

Like I said, my trust is hard to gain.

...

**A/N; I'm not so sure where this is really going. I have many ideas, all which will fit in somehow. But until I ahve a plan for this, chapter updates will be scattered. I'm sorry. I'm gonna sit dow when I have time and work out where this is going. Until then, it's a mystery to both writer and reader. :)**

**I really appreciate those reviews. Please keep them coming!**


	20. 15th October

_15th October 2008_

_Albuquerque, What Happened New Mexico?!_

…

It's been a long time since I've written, hasn't it Diary? It might have seemed strange if you were a real person, getting all my stories and then suddenly nothing at all. But that's just the thing. I was coping with my life; I wasn't needed to mark down my every move and thought because I knew what I was doing.

Everything was so simple.

And then that changed.

Because he kissed me.

…

**A/N; Cliffhangerish moment, right? Okay, so I decided to move this story on a little bit, because as I reread it, it was repeating lots and I didn't like that. So I've pushed on, and that brought you here.**

**If you want the next chapter, you'll have to review. You won't regret it! Please get me near 100!**


	21. 20th October

_20th October 2008_

_Albuquerque, New **Realize** Mexico._

…

It has taken me a few days to readjust to what happened. It was so sudden, I hadn't expected it at all. I knew, deep down - not matter how much I tried to blank out - that he had underlying feelings for me. He'd told me that straight away. That he wanted me, but for the moment friends was enough. When did that change? And why, if we are friends, did he not warn my first was what was going on inside of him. Because honestly, I would have liked a bit of a heads up.

I remember standing there, shocked, too stunned to move. I stood, with my mouth open, and glazed eyes. He was in front of me, his lips had just been connected with mine. And all I could do was… nothing. I had no idea what to do. So, like usual, I ran. Because that's what I do. It's the way I've been brought up. We've moved so often, I've just moved from my problems. That's the way it goes.

And this is how it happened…

We were walking home from school, on the usual route. Since we had become friends, he had become very protective of me. The nights were getting darker, and he insisted on accompanying me home. So, every day, we would stop off at the park for a while, before travelling to my house where we would part ways.

As we walked into the park, I remember slipping my folder into my bag before Troy get his hands on it. He seemed to take it for a very precious item, carrying it for me wherever we went together. I thought this was ridiculous - I'm not that delicate, I can carry folder! - but he thought otherwise. Swinging my bag back, we continued to walk. I could feel him staring at me, a feeling I'd become somewhat used to over the past month or so. His eyes seemed glued to me in some way. Weird, loveable boy.

I looked back at him. "What?" Sometimes, when I knew he was looking, I'd ask what he was looking at. Other times I'd avoid it. But he'd been doing it so much that day, it was making me curious.

He looked down at his converse shoes, the black fabric becoming grey as they were washed and washed with the Albuquerque rainfall. Then he looked up again, a look in his eyes I couldn't place. He outstretched his hand.

"Take my hand."

It was a simple statement; but one that held so many meanings. At this time, if I'd known what would be the end result, I'm not so sure if I would have accepted. But I did, very hesitantly, stretching out my hand and feelings his fingers thread through mine. I remember a funny feeling whizzed through my stomach, and as I looked at him again, we smiled.

We continued walking, over the various paths, our feet knowing perfectly well where we were going. He swung out entwined hands forward and backward, looking like young lovers as he did so. When I look back I realise we looked that way. At the time, I was completely oblivious.

We went to the swings, completely cliché, I know, but we did. Sitting down, our hands dropped, and a sudden sense of loneliness evaded me. We swung gently, in time with each other.

Then he asked me, "Brie, I know you might not want to tell me this, but… why are you do guarded?"

I sighed. Every time, I tell him the same answer. The same one he never accepts as the truth. Yes, there is more to it. And yes, I don't tell him every detail. It's not that I don't trust him, I just… can't tell him. Because every time I think about what happened in my past, especially the broken friendship with Drew and Anna, I feel the pain again. I want to get over it, but I just can't. We had a connection, the three of us, and now it is broken, my trust with people is too.

So I answer the question in the same way I always do. "Because I don't want to get hurt."

He sighed, agitated, like always. "You say that every single time."

"I know I do."

He looked at me, those eyes boring into mine, seeing into my soul. "But it's not the truth, is it Brie?"

I looked back at him. "Yes, it is."

He shook his head, swinging back and forward, his converses scuffing on the concrete below us. "I'm not saying that it isn't correct, but what you're telling me isn't the full story."

"I hardly ever tell people everything."

"Why?"

"Because I'll get hurt, in the end."

With this statement, he began to get angry. I could see it bubbling in those orbs of his, darkening; deepening. "Not everyone will hurt you, Gabriella." He only uses my full name when he is annoyed.

I was getting fed up of this interrogation. I made to get up. "Most will."

He got up too, fast enough to make his swing bounce backwards. He stalked forward, his eyes on fire. I tried to ignore the flash of adrenaline I got from that look. To look away, I picked up my bag, hauling it onto my shoulder. He same one's he grabbed to pull me forward a moment later.

He leant in, whispering. "I won't."

I was stunned by his closeness, dazed completely. "Won't what?" Memory lapse.

"Hurt you. I won't. I won't let myself hurt someone I love."

His words swam around my brain, trying to filter but being unsuccessful.

He… loves… me?

He loves… me.

He loves me.

He. Loves. Me.

I remember blinking rapidly. Oh my gosh.

And that's when his lips pressed into mine. Even as I write I can remember the feeling. The small amount of pressure on my lips; the melting sensation as we kissed; the fireworks in my stomach. I can still feel his lips on mine. And the feelings and memories just won't fade, no matter what I do.

I'll just have to face up to him, won't I?

And face up to the fact that…

Maybe…

I'm falling for him too?

**A/N; What do you think? I realise I kind of moved this on incredibly fast, but that's because I can feel this story coming to an end. I've made a chapter plan, which I am going to stick to, and if that works out this story only has about 3-4 chapters left. I also want to apologize because compared to my other stories, this really isn't my best work. I tried hard with this story, but for some reason it just didn't fit with me. I really hope you are enjoying what I'm managing to put down, tho'. :)**

**Yep, so, hopefully if you all review - CLICK BUTTON - I'll make it over 100 reviews. Cheers, lovely readers!**


	22. 22nd October

_22nd October 2008_

_Albuquerque, **Glancing** New Mexico._

…

The last few days have been increasingly hard for me. The fact that me and my new best friend aren't talking anymore just kills me. I was beginning to get used to the rhythm our friendship had, and I liked that I felt normal around him. He wanted difference things at the time, and I knew that, but it didn't seem to matter.

Until it all became too hard for him to conceal.

I feel guilty for putting him through the pain of having to be my friend while he felt so much for me. I would say it was unconsciously done, but I would have to say I was lying because in all honesty, I knew what he was going through, I just avoided it. I saw all the looks of love. I saw him try and contain the feelings he felt for me when he held hands. I saw and felt it all bounce off him. And I just let it happen. I want to apologize; feel like I really should. But right now, my mind is so confused I don't think the words would come out properly. This whole thing is just taking control of my life.

At school. He looks at me often. I look back, but he doesn't look away. This hurts. To know that he wants me so badly it's hurting him. I see the anger enveloping him every time I walk passed him. He thinks I'm doing it deliberately, but I'm not. I just don't have the courage to talk to him.

But I can feel it coming.

I can feel the confrontation.

But I'm not ready for it yet.

And that thought makes me scared.

…

**A/N; Very short, but I didn't want to make it long. The next chapter, which I promise will not take me as long to write (thanks to the holidays) will be much longer and the pivotal chapter of the entire story. It will also be nearing the end soon, so I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has read, and reviewed this story. Thanks for coming along on this journey with me.**

**I'd love to get to 110 reviews. Can you give me 7 reviews for this chapter? Click that button please!**


	23. 23rd October

_23 October 2008_

_Albuquerque, **Confrontational** New Mexico._

…

I knew the time would come when everything he had been keeping inside of him, all the feelings and anger, when that would all come out. I knew it wouldn't take long for it to become too much. But I didn't expect it to come this soon. I can hardly believe it has happened, even though I have just ran from the scene, away from Troy, to hid from everything that was coming at me.

I don't usually run from my problems, I've learnt from watching my mother that it does nothing for you. But today, when he tried to get me to answer him, in front of everyone, about why I wouldn't let him in, it was just too much. I felt strangled, and I could see that it was hurting him to watch me fail like this; he didn't want me to crumble. But crumble I did, under the pressure of his loving gaze.

I suppose I should just retell you what happened.

When I walked into school today, nothing was really different. It went as any day after the time he kissed me did. I would walk in, people in the halls wouldn't look at me or care that I was even there. I sued to be 'popular' because of hating Troy, then I was 'popular' because I was friends with Troy. But since that has ended, I've just melted back into oblivion, just like I was back in LA. Strange as it sounds, I find it quite comforting going back to where I was before.

So I just walked through the corridors, dodging people who I thought would knock me over, and then reached my locker. Like normal, I did the code, watched it swing open, dump the stuff I didn't need in there, and let it slam close before walking to registration. But today, I caught Troy's eye. He was looking at me intensely. I should have taken the warning in his eyes. I should have noted how this would turn out. And most of all, I should have quickly made my heart stop beating so fast when I looked at him. But I didn't.

So I remember turning away, and walking to registration, deliberately closing my ears to the sound of Troy's angered scream and the sound of his foot colliding with his locker.

Lessons one and two were mostly me sitting doodling, while my brain worked over and over what Troy and I had gone through. It started off with him being his cocky self, then we became friends, then he fell in love with me. At the time I didn't realise what was happening to me. To me, it felt all so sudden but the more I think about it, the more gradual my feelings become. Because I realise now that I don't hate him like I used to. And I don't like him as my friend anymore. It's confusing, but I like what I'm feeling.

So after those two periods of just dreaming away, I wasn't really awake enough for what was coming next. My brain was fuzzy - I haven't been sleeping well - and I didn't really notice Troy standing opposite my locker waiting for me. I could hear all the other students making their way to break, or other periods; nothing out of the ordinary.

When I turned around, I heard him speak.

"Brie, we need to talk."

I remember standing still, like I had just gone into shock. I didn't move, my head was looking at the floor. And then when I found the courage to look up in the direction of his voice, he wasn't there. But I could feel his presence all around me. That excited me, spurred me on.

So I stood up tall. "I don't think we do need to talk, Troy."

I couldn't see him, nor did I know exactly where he was, but I knew he would here me. People were flying from my vision, along the corridors, still filing out from class.

Then I felt him behind me.

"You and me both know we need to talk. What happened doesn't explain itself Gabriella."

I gulped. I didn't want to have this conversation. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Troy."

I made to walk, but then his hand caught my wrist, pulling me around to face him. People saw this action, making them stop and watch. I cringed. I didn't want to do this at all, least of all in front of everyone at East High. People were gathering, but this didn't deter him.

He sighed angrily. "Yes, you do know, so don't deny it. I have sat here waiting for you for over a month now, Gabriella. And I can't wait anymore. You wanted time, I gave you time. Now you seem to want space, so I gave you that too. But I'm sick of waiting. So where are we?"

I looked him in the eye. "We aren't moving."

His arms flung in the air. "So we're just standing still. Not moving forward, or even backwards. We aren't facing the problem, and you know what? We aren't facing it because you are against making this,' he pointed between our bodies, 'work out.' He came closer to me. 'What are you afraid of, truly. Be honest this time Brie."

I lowered me head. "You already know my answer."

"That answer isn't good enough."

"Tough." I winced as soon as that word had left me mouth. I wasn't being useful to this situation at all, And he'd been right, we weren't moving, because I didn't want to move. I didn't want it to change, or anything to change. Change scares me.

His change of tone made me look up when he spoke. "Tough. You want to know what's tough, Gabriella? Tough is having someone walk into your life and change it completely. Tough is having that person walk in and not even know what they are doing to you. Tough is falling in love with someone and not having them return the sentiments.' I looked up, shocked at his words. I know he loves me, you see, I just haven't let my brain adjust to that fact. I remember him nodding at my shocked expression. 'Yes, Brie. I love you.' He turned around, waving his arms out. 'EVERYONE! PEOPLE OF EAST HIGH. I LOVE THIS GIRL. AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO TELL YOU ALL!' and then he stepped back to me. 'But you, Brie. You are afraid of loving me, aren't' you."

And then it happened. Everything boiled over. Every feelings I've ever felt towards the boy in front of me came pouring out, with no urge to stop. I felt it bubble to the surface, and I couldn't contain it. So I let it out.

I pushed him back, and his stumbled, shock registering in his face. Then I shouted at him, unafraid of everyone watching on. "YES, TROY! YES! You got it right, congratulations! I am scared. I'm scared or giving my heart to anyone, because I've known what it's like to be hurt, and I don't want to go through it again. I don't give people my trust because two friends I used to have broke the trust I gave to them. So it's hard to trust anyone now!' I looked deep into his eyes, watching him as he got all the answers he had been looking for. He looked… oddly satisfied by my rage. So I continued. "And yes, I run away from my problems some times,' I could feel the tears coming now. "But that's because it's the only thing I know.' And then I moved into his body, feeling his body heat mix with mine, and I laid my hand shakily on his warm cheek. 'And yes, I love you. I love you more than words can tell you. But that doesn't mean the fear just disappears, no matter how much I want it to."

I pressed my lips to his other cheek, sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Troy."

And then I ran, and he didn't come after me, because he knew I'd come back to him at some point. He knows me now, you see. I've bared my soul to him, given him all the answers he wished for.

I just hope he doesn't give up on me.

…

**A/N; Thanks for waiting for this chapter. I told you it would be longer than the last one. Only two more chapters to go of this story, so please spare some time to give me a review!**


	24. 26th October, Fin

_26th October_

_Albuquerque, New **Loving** Mexico._

…

The last few days have been far from smooth-sailing. School hasn't been as upbeat as it usually was, due to the stares Sharpay was periodically shooting me with. She was annoyed, I guess, that Troy had fallen in love with me, and not her - the person she thought he belonged with. But that's the thing really, isn't it. When we begin to like someone, we automatically believe we should be with them, and that no other would be suitable. Even if we aren't suited to them ourselves.

I used to believe that with Troy.

I used to think that we were from different universes. That we were completely out of each others range, and that we had nothing in common. Truth is, we don't have anything in common, but that didn't stop the way Troy felt about me.

And the way I feel about Troy now.

It's been hard, looking for him each day and finding him not y my side like he had been for the last few weeks. I wasn't expecting him to fall into the norm again so quickly after our confrontation, but I thought he would have at least let on to me. I never saw him, in all the last three days I have been at school, he hasn't made an appearance. I thought it was deliberately avoiding school, to avoid me, but when I asked around, he'd been in school.

Which meant he just wasn't bothered.

And that's when I began to give up. I was angry at first, remembering that I'd poured out my soul to him just a few days ago and now he couldn't be bothered finding me. But then all I felt was the pain of knowing you love someone, albeit later than wanted, and never knowing what it was to love that person. To be around that person, and really get to know them.

Then just before I was about to lose all hope, he appeared. It reminded me of a chick-flick, when the 'hot guy' descends down the corridor, with the crowds parting and him walking down the middle, lights surrounding him making him look like an angel. No, there wasn't any lights, and he didn't look particularly like an angel, but people gasped and the crowds of students parted as soon as they saw him coming to me.

It all happened so quickly. A blur of magical moments that I wish could have lasted forever. Sweet words of love whispered into my ear. He whole presence surrounding me, bringing me in. And then he kissed me, over and over again, with the gasps, shouts and claps of the crowd creating music that our lips moved in time with. It wasn't like the first kiss we shared; this one wasn't rushed or forced. It was gentle, loving and everything I had imagined a first kiss with Troy to be like.

And I've been floating on cloud nine since then. With Troy's arm wrapped around me I finally feel safe, like everything had fallen into place. I feel more complete than I knew I ever could, and all the fears I felt in the first place have become silly now.

Because I know he'll never hurt me.

And I know that as long as we are together, everything will be okay.

To think, I would have never figured out my feelings if I hadn't put Pen To Paper.

**A/N; THE END. How lovely, isn't it? I knoww I said there would be more, but it felt appropraite to finish this story here. It isn't my best work, and if I'm honest, I haven't put as much effort into this story as I have with others. But I hope you looked past that and enjoyed it anyway.**

**THERE WILL BE NO SEQUEL.**

**I don't think it would be right to continue something that didn't really work for me.**

**Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and for the last time…**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


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